


Spider lilies

by Violet_S



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Blowjobs, Cannibalism, Castration, Cuddles, Drama, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I will add more tags as the fic progresses, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Just a small bite, Kisses, Lingerie, M/M, Nipples, Oh ho hoooo~, Past Child Abuse, Probably smutty tags, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Smut, There's gonna be so much smut, i can't wait, really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:05:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7571743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violet_S/pseuds/Violet_S
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What is love like?”</p><p>“Oh, well… I… I’ve never been in love but… I’ve heard it feels the same way happiness does. You always want to be with that person and you would give everything to be with them... Why do you ask?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It started with a word

_“_ _Ghoul_ _…_ _You_ _’_ _re a ghoul_ _…”_

_Haise_ _’_ _s breath caught in his throat when he heard those words. Jason_ _’_ _s blade was encircling him, restricting his movement._

_“_ _No! I_ _…_ _I_ _’_ _m not!_ _”_

_“_ _How can you fucking say that?! The eye_ _…_ _And the kagune!!_ _”_

_“_ _I know but_ _…_ _Let me explain_ _”_

_“_ _Why should I? You_ _’_ _re just another monster_ _“_

_“_ _Juuzou, please! I_ _’_ _m not like them!_ _”_

_But he knew his words meant nothing as he saw the investigator raise his quinque in the air just to swing it in his direction seconds after._

 

_\-----_

 

It all started a month ago, when he stood in front of a door in the 13’s Ward Branch Office for like fifteen minutes. He was nervous. He was really, really nervous. It was the first time he was given a mission, and he would be working with Juuzou Suzuya, of all people. He heard lots about him and he was honestly so afraid of meeting him. He was told that he was a sadistic and a freak, a psychopath that probably got off on people’s suffering. Haise was sure he would be tall and threatening. That’s why, when the door flew open in front of him, he looked at the small boy in disbelief.

“You’re Haise, right?” He asked.

“Uh… Y…Yeah”

“Good. Get in” He grabbed his wrist and practically dragged him inside of his office. He sat in his chair and crossed his legs.

“And you are…”

“First Class Investigator Juuzou Suzuya. Shouldn’t you know that? We will be working together for some time”

“Y…Yes, I’m aware but…” He trailed off, hoping the kid would get the point.

“But you expected someone different”

“Kind of. I thought you would be older”

“I’m not a child, Haise, if that’s what you mean. We are the same age” Wait, what? Really?

“I… I know. I’m sorry”

“Nah, don’t worry. Just sit already, it’s annoying”

“Oh, of course” Sasaki did as he was told, squirming a little on his seat.

_This is going to be a long week_. Suzuya though as he watched the awkward man.

 

\------

 

 But he was wrong. Haise proved himself to be more confident after some days went by. He was cheerful, joking every once in a while and laughing every time Juuzou showed his childish demeanor. Soon, the two were more than just coworkers.

They were at a coffee shop, spending their break together, when a question popped at Juuzou’s head.

“Haise, is there someone out there you like?”

“What?!” The man nearly spitted his coffee.

“You know, a girlfriend or a boyfriend or something” The boy kept the red straw on his mouth, sipping from his chocolate milkshake every once in a while.

“I… What kind of question is that?” A soft blush slowly made his way to Haise’s cheeks.

“Come oooon, you can tell me. We are friends!!”

“Oh, god” Sasaki covered his face with his hands when he felt people’s eyes on them. Juuzou sometimes was really loud. And he also showed to be really persistent when he grabbed Haise’s wrists and revealed the other investigator’s embarrassed expression.

“What’s wrong? Is it something so ‘humiliating’ that you have to hide yourself?” When he turned his head to the side trying to avert his gaze, Juuzou understood what was going on “Oh my god, you’re a virgin!!!”

“Don’t scream!!” A group of teenagers sitting on a table near them giggled “Besides, why do you even care?”

“Hmmm? I’m just curious” He shrugged “So, how come dear Sasaki is still an innocent little boy?”

“Well, I… I haven’t had the time for something like that in this two months since I awoke on the hospital, and I definitely don’t know if my past self had any experience”

“You’ve had the time, you just didn’t want to”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’ve had a lot of opportunities. There are a lot of women at work who would love to be under you”

“But… I don’t like any of them…”

“So you’re into men”

“What?!” And again, Haise choked on his coffee “I…I don’t… I’m not sure what I’m into, okay? Can we leave the matter?”

“No fucking way, I’m having so much fun with this. Besides, it’s easy to know what you like and what you don’t” He looked around for a second “That girl at the counter. Do you like her?”  
  
“Well, she’s cute but…”

“No buts. Would you bang her or not?”

“Juuzou!” Dear god, how could he talk about this so easily?

“What? I’m just asking for a yes or a no”

“Maybe… I don’t even know her”

“Okay, let’s try with someone you know, then. Would you fuck me?” And that was enough for Sasaki to spit the last remains of his drink all over the table and Juuzou’s shirt “Did you just…?”

“Oh, god. I’m sorry! It’s just… You’re my friend, you can’t ask me that!!!” Suzuya giggled while Haise grabbed some napkins to try and dry his clothes.

“Okay, okay. Last time. I swear”

“Good” Seeing as his attempts to clean the boy up where useless, he thought of a different possibility “My house is on the way back to work. I can let you borrow a shirt if you want”

“Oh, Haise-kun inviting me over. Maybe you’re a pervert after all~”

“I told you to stop that!”

“Right, sorry” He quickly laughed it off “But yeah, it’s a good idea. Let’s go, my virginal friend”

 

\------

 

“Uh, Haise!” He heard from the living room.

“Yeah?”

“I think I fucked up”

“What do you…?” He turned around and saw the boy. He had one of his black shirts on. Well, half on. Some of the stitches on his neck were stuck on the buttons. The thread was tugging at his skin. It probably hurt like hell “Wait, let me help”

After some time, he managed to untangle the red string and finished buttoning the shirt, not after noticing some scars under the dark fabric.

He decided it was better not to ask about them.

 

\-------

 

A few weeks later, they finally found the ghoul they were looking for. It was late at night and it was raining.

“Haise, run faster!” Juuzou’s voice was barely audible over the heavy sound of the raindrops. They followed the woman down an alley, her path blocked by a brick wall “We have her…”

Haise caught the silver glint of the blades before the boy threw them at the flesh-eating monster. She stopped some of them with her kagune, the others hitting her body. A koukaku. It would be easy.

Or so he thought. He honestly wasn’t expecting his partner to slide on the wet floor, losing the grip on his quinque. And he wasn’t expecting to be attacked with said quinque, not wielded by the ghoul. But what alarmed him the most was the sight of the boy being hit in the chest with his own weapon.

Juuzou landed on his side, rolling on the floor because of the rain until he hit a wall. All the air was knocked out of his lungs and he was having a hard time trying to breathe again. He started coughing, starting to feel the dizziness. He got on his knees, trying really hard until he could feel the air filling him again. But at that same moment, he saw a red glow. The red glow of a kagune. The red glow of Haise’s kagune.

“What…?” He whispered, followed by some short coughs.

In a few seconds, the rinkaku was piercing the woman and Jason landed near him. He got up and grabbed his quinque.

“Ghoul… You’re a ghoul…”

Haise breath caught in his throat when he heard those words. Jason’s blade was circling him, restricting his movement.

“No! I… I’m not!”

“How can you fucking say that?! The eye… And the kagune!! ”

“I know but… Let me explain”

“Why should I? You’re just another monster“

“Juuzou, please! I’m not like them!”

But he knew his words meant nothing as he saw the investigator raise his quinque in the air just to swing it in his direction seconds after.

He saw the blood and he heard the scream, yet he didn’t feel pain.

He turned his head and saw the halved body of the other ghoul.

“Juuzou”

“Shut up. I haven’t finished with you” He raised Jason again, pointing it at Haise’s direction “Does anyone else know it?”

“Yes. Special Class Arima and Rank 1 Mado are aware of it. So is the Washuu family”

“Akira knows it?”

“Yes”

“Then it’s fine” He lowered his quinque and retrieved the abandoned suitcase adorned with colorful stickers.

“Wait, that’s it?”

“Yeah, I’ve known Akira for some years. If she knows you’re a ghoul, then it’s fine”

“Oh…” Haise stood there for a few seconds, still astonished with how easily the other shrugged the matter off.

“Are you coming or not?”

“Ah… Y...yeah” Just now, as he watched the boy stumble a little, he remembered “Are you alright?”

“Yeah”

“What happened back there? You could have dodged that attack”

“Don’t you think if I could, I would have?”

“But…”

“Haise” He was cut midsentence “Stop, please”

“Oh… Sorry…”

“Don’t worry”

 

\------

 

“Juuzou?” Haise knocked on the door a few times. He checked the direction on his phone again, just to make sure he wasn’t on the wrong building.

“It’s open!” He heard the muffled voice from inside.

He pushed the door open and stepped into the apartment.

The first thing Sasaki noticed, was how big it was for just one person. And, knowing who lived in it, it was surprisingly clean. He was honestly surprised. He was expecting it to be a chaos, but it seems he was wrong. There weren’t even dishes on the sink or dust on the furniture.

“Hey” He was distracted from his thoughts when he heard the voice calling him from the window.

“You live in a 26th floor, you shouldn’t do that. You could easily fall” He neared him and leaned on the wall

“I wouldn’t fall even if you tried to push me”

“Yeah, right” Juuzou was sitting on the window ledge, his legs dangling over the street “Anyway, why did you ask me to come?”

“Hm? Nothing important. I just wanted to talk with you”

“Oh” Haise waited, expecting the boy to say something else, but realized he wasn’t going to talk as some minutes passed by “So, how are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“The ghoul hit your chest, right? Does it hurt?”

“Nah, I don’t really feel it” Wait, what did he mean? How could he not feel something like that?

“You don’t… feel pain?”

“Nope” He shrugged.

“But that’s…” Haise thought about it for a moment. It couldn’t be a good thing could it? “Let me see”

“What?”

“The wound. Let me see”

“I don’t think I should” Honestly, the investigator’s serious face was freaking him out

“Juuzou, please. You could be hurt pretty badly and you wouldn’t even notice” Oh, so he was concerned. Why was he? It was just a small injury.

“What if you just want to see me half naked?”

“What? Why would I want to do that?” For a moment, Haise paused. Well, Juuzou was really cute… Wait, what was he thinking about?! They were friends, for fuck’s sake! Besides, he was sure the boy wouldn’t even think of him like that… Right?

“Maybe you’re a perv” Suzuya raised an eyebrow, questioning him.

“I’m not”

“You don’t need to see the wound, then”

“Okay. Die if you want” Haise sighed. When he wanted to, the boy could be really exasperating.

They spent several minutes in silence. Sasaki, at some point decided to sit down near Juuzou, after making sure it was safe. They watched the lights of the world under them. It was really hard, but they could distinguish some people going for a night walk. Some girls who went to a party, some couples going back home after a date…

“Haise” Juuzou’s voice was different. It was more shy than usual

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to ask you something…” What was with his tone? It was as if he was embarrassed. Could it be…? No, that was impossible.

“Go ahead” Haise watched as the boy fidgeted. Really, why was he acting so weird? He was Juuzou Suzuya, the word awkward wasn’t in his dictionary.

“How do you know if you love someone?” The other investigator’s mouth nearly dropped. L…Love?

“What?” Was the only thing he could say.

“You know. Love. What is it like?” The boy pulled a leg up, sneaking his arms around and hugging it.

“Oh, well… I… I’ve never been in love but… I’ve heard it feels the same way happiness does. You always want to be with that person and you would give everything to be with them” Sasaki glanced at him. He looked lost in his thoughts “Why do you ask?”

“Eh? Ah… There’s someone I like but… I’m not sure if I love them…” _Oh._ Haise thought. _I should have guessed._

“Well, you can always ask them out. Love isn’t something that appears at first sight”

“It doesn’t?”

“Nope. People are wrong. It’s not love what they feel when they meet someone, but attraction. It’s different”

“Then, it’s not bad if you don’t love someone at first?”

“It’s not.  That’s why people go on dates”

“Okay… Thanks”

“Don’t worry” He smiles. When did he even start thinking about Juuzou in a romantic way? Yes, he was cute. Yes, he thought his smiles were the most beautiful thing in this world. Yes, sometimes he would think about him. But that didn’t mean anything, did it?

“Are you not going to ask who they are?”

“No, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me”

“Haise, it’s you”

“They sure must be grea… Wait, what?” He turned to face the boy. Did he hear that right?

“I like you. You’re really nice. You always smile with me, and treat me well and all of that but… I’m not really sure if I love you”

“I… I…” Sasaki was speechless. He didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t care if you don’t like me. It’s fine. I just thought I should say it” At the lack of response, Juuzou directed his gaze towards his friend, who was watching him with wide eyes and a half-open mouth “Haise, are you alright?”

“Ah… Y…Yeah!! I just…” He laughed “I can’t believe this. I’ve learned from a lot of books that the person you like might never reciprocate your feelings but…” Again, a chuckle left his lips “Just now I was thinking about when did I start liking you”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah”

“Oh... Does this mean…?” He left the sentence unfinished, hoping to get the point across.

“I think it does”

“Hmmm…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah… Nothing, just… I thought this would be more complicated”

“Me too. I guess this is a good sign”

“Maybe it is”

“So… Are you free this Saturday?”

“Asking me on a date, Sasaki?” Juuzou grinned

“Yeah… Unless you don’t want to”

“I want to”

“Okay. Then… a movie?”

“Sure” They both smiled.

Who would have thought liking someone was so easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay. So this is the first chapter of a fic I’m writing. I know I said I was going to publish this like a month ago or something but I’ve been pretty busy with final exams (but I’m already free, so I will write some more). Well, as you guessed, this is going to be a Suzuhaise fic. I’m deep in that hell, and the only way to relieve myself from the shipping pain is to write fluffy and smutty things about my OTP. Yeah, you heard that right. Smutty. This is going to have some smut. Because I’m a sinful woman and I live for that kind of things (I can't actually believe I'm able to write perv things with Juuzou) You will just have to wait some chapters for it to happen (because, come on, we all want it)
> 
> As a side note, please tell me if there’s something I’ve written wrong or doesn’t make sense. English is not my main language and I’m sure there must be some mistakes


	2. Bloody kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at titles

Haise squirmed on his seat, looking away from the screen. Why would they add a sex scene to a horror movie? He glanced at his date. Juuzou looked nonchalantly at the screen, his mouth full of popcorn and his feet up on his seat with his thighs pressing against his chest. Was he not uncomfortable that way? He was really flexible… For just a second, Haise’s mind wandered to the forbidden area that sex was. He blushed and turned to the film again. It was the first time they went out together, he couldn’t be thinking about fucking the other. But come to think of it, Juuzou had asked him about it a few weeks ago, when they were at that coffee shop. Maybe he wanted to…

  
“What’s wrong?” He was so distracted that he didn’t notice when the boy turned to look at him.

  
“Eh? Ah, nothing… I was just… Thinking” Sasaki whispered, trying not to be too loud. They were at the theatre, after all

  
“About what?” He sighed. When Juuzou took interest in something, it was really difficult to make him forget about it.

  
“A… About…” Just a glance. Just a nervous look at the screen was enough to direct his attention at the sudden jumpscare and following massacre. “Ahhhhh!!” A scream left his throat before he could stifle it.

  
Suzuya’s snicker filled the room in a matter of seconds. Haise apologized to every person that asked him to shut the ‘kid’ up. He was relieved to see the credits rolling just after the main character had his head ripped off.

  
He grabbed his date’s arm and dragged him to the front of the theater.

  
“Oh. My. God! You should have looked at you, looking like a terrified little girl! It wasn’t even THAT scary” He grabbed his stomach trying to hold his laugher “Oh God, I can’t breaaatheee”

  
“Oh, shut up. It just caught me off guard”  
“Yeah, right” He wiped some tears that escaped his eyes. 

  
“Anyway, what do you want to do now?” Juuzou noticed he was trying to change the subject but didn’t give it importance.

  
“Ice cream~ “Just as Haise was going to agree with the proposal, his stomach growled “Did the movie make you hungry, Haise~?” What was with that teasing voice?

“Uh, no. It’s just…” He was a blushing mess at this point.

  
“If you are, just eat something” He looked back at the boy. He knew he was a half-ghoul, so he should know the implications of what he was saying.

  
“I… I can’t…”

  
“Why not? There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s the only way”

  
“I know but… It doesn’t feel right. Let’s go grab a coffee or something” He tried to shrug the matter off, but Juuzou was really insistent.

  
“A coffee won’t do” Suddenly Haise was grabbed and dragged to an alley behind the theatre “There” He was shocked when he saw the boy pulling at his own shirt, exposing his shoulder.

  
“What?”

  
“Bite. Not too much, just take some blood”

  
“Are you… Are you kidding me?”

  
“No. I really like you and I don’t want you to starve and go ghoul mode. That would be annoying”

  
“I…”

  
“Haise, it’s okay” It was just when he saw that angelic smile, that Sasaki knew it was fine.

  
So he approached the boy and lowered himself just enough for his lips to caress Juuzou’s skin, making him shiver. He waited for approval and, when he felt small fingers on his neck, playing with the hair at his nape, he sank his teeth hard enough to draw blood. He sucks eagerly, catching every drop of the crimson liquid with his tongue. He hears a small moan but ignores it. He was aware Suzuya smelled really well, but never imagined he would taste so heavenly. He removes his stained lips, as the blood stops flowing, slowly looking at the boy. He wasn’t expecting to see him all flushed, lips slightly parted as they released soft breaths. Why was he…?

  
But Haise didn’t have time to think as suddenly the boy fixed his shirt and straightened himself up, looking away as he tried to lessen his blush.

  
“I… didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?”

  
“No, it’s just… I’m pretty sensitive there”

  
“Oh…” He watched him walk away.

  
“Are you coming or not?”

  
“Uh, yeah”

  
\--------------------

  
It was awkward. It was really, really awkward. Well, it was for Haise. Juuzou seemed to have regained his extrovert personality.  
He was talking happily about how he was going to be given a squad of his own while Haise kept replaying what happened back at the alley. Why did he do that?! Sure, Juuzou reassured him it was fine, but for him, a wound on his chest was also ‘fine’. What was he thinking about in that moment? Oh, yes, he was thinking about how good he tasted and how hot his moans sounded. God, he was an idiot. But an idiot that wanted to hear more of those sounds, to see more than just his shoulders. He remembered the way he breathed out those hot, short puffs of air. His bottom lip red from biting it. It was really erotic. He couldn’t stop thinking about how would they feel against his skin…

  
“We’re here” He suddenly announced.

  
“Eh? Ah, right!” Haise was so lost on his thoughts that he didn’t notice they were in front of Juuzou’s apartment.

  
“Wanna get in? It’s still early”

  
“Sure”

  
He immediately regretted his decision. He kept regretting it while they were waiting for the elevator. Kept regretting it when they were trapped in the small cubicle for a minute. Kept regretting it when he saw the boy unlocking the door. But he didn’t regret it when he felt delicate, sweet lips pressing against his own. They only lingered there for a few seconds but he didn’t care because he got to see his beautiful face looking at him, silently asking if he could keep going.

  
Haise didn’t bother replying. Instead, he grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him again. He slowly pushed Juuzou against the door while the boy slid his arms around his neck, clutching the back of his shirt as he pushed his tongue against Sasaki’s lips, asking for entrance. The half-ghoul opened his lips and was soon assaulted by the other. He tried to fight for dominance (although a bit clumsily since this was his first time kissing someone) but to no avail as Juuzou wouldn’t let him, so he opted for running his hands through the small body, pausing at his hips and pressing them against his.

  
The boy moaned at that and parted Haise’s legs with one of his own, rubbing it against the hardness that was starting to appear. He really wanted to keep going. He wanted to bring him to his bed and spend all the night fucking him, but then Haise would see him and…He didn’t want to take that risk. He knew the man would never judge him but he still felt shy about it. But that didn’t mean he could not do something for him.

  
He put his hands on the other investigator’s chest and pushed slightly, their breaths mixing together when they broke the kiss.

  
“Juuzou…”

  
“Shhh…” He hushed him and grabbed his hand, leading him towards his bedroom. He opened the door and turned the lights on. He preferred being able to see everything about his… Date? Boyfriend? Seeing what he was about to do, lover seemed more suitable.  
He pushed Haise against the bed until he fell on it and moved to straddle him. He took his sweater off and started unbuttoning his shirt. His hands wandered all over his chest, his lips on his neck. He nibbled just where he could feel Sasaki’s pulse and Juuzou filed it in the back of his mind. He would need to know all of the other’s sensitive spots. He got off of him moving to rest on his knees in front of him.

  
Haise immediately knew what he was going to do.

  
“Juuzou, wait. You don’t have to do that”

  
“Shut up. I want to” Sasaki tried to retort, but the words were replaced with a moan as he felt a hand clutching him through his clothes. 

Suzuya undid his pants easily and pulled them down along with his boxers after removing his shoes.

  
Haise shivered when he felt small yet strong hands on him, slowly stroking him. They definitely felt a lot different than his own.  
Lowering his head a little, Juuzou slid his tongue over the head, amused at the sounds the other was making even though he didn’t do anything special yet.

  
He slowly took the length in his mouth, pausing a second to breathe deeply through his nose before taking it whole, pressing his nose against the dark hair at the base. He was surprised to see it was the only place Haise had hair on, besides his head. He swallowed around it a few times while he watched the other man with his big, red eyes. Meanwhile, Sasaki tried reaching down to grab a fistful of Suzuya’s hair, just to have his hand smacked away.

  
“Don’t grab me, okay? I don’t like it so if you do, I’ll bite your dick off” Haise cringed at the thought of something so painful, but his expression was wiped off as the boy went down again.

  
He wouldn’t last too much. Not with the way Juuzou deepthroated him and with how much force he sucked every time he bobbed his head, with how he pressed his tongue against his underside.

  
He felt nails scratching his thighs, and came when, suddenly, the boy sucked harder and hummed theatrically, sending vibrations up his spine. He moaned Suzuya’s name and closed his eyes. Damn, why was he so skillful?

When he opened them again, he saw beautiful eyes looking back at him, a drop of cum escaping the other investigator’s lips. 

Juuzou got up, pausing a second to press a kiss on Haise’s cheek. He turned around and tried walking away, but got stopped by a hand on his wrist. “Where are you going?”

  
“To take a shower”

  
“But… You are…” Sasaki referred to the small yet present tent on the boys pants.

  
“That’s why I’m going to take a shower” He replied as if they were talking about the weather.

  
“I can help” Juuzou tensed. No. No, he definitely wasn’t going to let him see. At least, not yet…

  
“No need”

  
“But… I want to…”

  
“Well, I don’t” He regretted his words when he saw the way the other’s face dropped.

“Haise, it’s fine, really. It’s not your fault or anything, I just…“ He sighed “We can keep going another day, okay?”

  
“Okay…”

  
He nodded and headed to the bathroom again. Once inside, he closed the door, yet he didn’t lock it. He undressed and stepped in the shower. As he turned the cold water on, he thought about what he said to his lover. He really wanted to keep going but… He was afraid Haise would maybe freak out. He looked down at himself. He wasn’t that different, was he? Just, smaller than the rest, lacking a certain part that would prevent him to have any child. (Not like he wanted any, in the first place. He’d rather have another leg chopped off than having a kid of his own) But that wasn’t the only thing. Having suffered sexual abuse at a young age wasn’t helping his situation.

  
He better waited some time before letting Haise near his pants.

  
\--------

  
When he got in his bedroom again, he found the other man sitting on his bed, boxers and shirt back on, looking at a small stack of papers which Juuzou immediately recognized. He crossed the room in fast strides and snatched the documents away.

  
“Eh? Ah, sorry! They were on the bedside table”

  
“I know. I left them there yesterday”

  
“Uh, okay…” Haise glanced at the boy, suddenly noticing his attire consisted of just his underwear. He looked away, blushing, at realizing how much smaller his clothes made him look. He was expecting him to be thin and bony, but he wasn’t that fragile. Yes, he was still little and adorable, but you could notice his muscles were strong under his skin. “I didn’t know you were tracking a ghoul. We are partners, you should have told me”

  
“It’s not for work” He left the papers on the dresser next to the wardrobe and neared Sasaki again, this time, sitting down next to him “It’s something personal”

  
“Personal?”

  
“Someone from my past” He laid down, his feet still on the floor.

“I see…” Haise glanced at his legs, the white skin contrasting against the dark red of his underwear. Wait… What was that? Haise thought when he saw a thin line crossing his right leg, just were a trail of stitches stopped. He slowly traced it and noticed it wasn’t a line. “A prosthetic?”

  
“Uh? Yeah. Got it cut off at the Anteiku Raid a year ago”

  
“Oh… Sorry about it”

  
“Nah, don’t worry. This one is cooler” The boy easily shrugged it off “You’re going to spend the night here, right?”

  
“Of course”

  
“Cool. We can see another movie before going to sleep”

  
“Another one?” Haise didn’t want to watch another horror movie. He was traumatized for life. “I’m actually a little tired”

  
“Tired? It’s just 11! Night’s young!” The boy jumped, getting on his knees on the bed, grabbing and shaking the other.

  
“I got up early. Had to work” He smiled weakly, trying to get Juuzou off of him.

  
“You’re sooooo boring” Resigned, he pouted and sat back down again.

  
“I’m sorry. We can watch it tomorrow” Haise gave him a short kiss on the lips, to which the other grinned.

  
“Okaaay” Suzuya flopped down, moving till he rested on his side, and patted the empty space next to him.

  
Sasaki happily laid down and wrapped an arm around his waist. He smiled when he felt the other nuzzling his head against his chest.

  
Yes. He definitely didn’t regret his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha ha, you thought I was going to write actual smut just on chapter 2? You wish! It was their first date, you’ll have to wait another one for it to happen. I’m so evil!!! *insert maniacal laugh followed by a coughing fit here*  
> Okay, okay, I’m fine.  
> So the biting and the blowjob scenes were completely unexpected. I was writing and something suddenly popped in my mind. I wanted to write a fluffy chapter with their first kiss and lots of hugs and cuddles and it turned out like this. I’m such a fucking perv. And I have this HC that Haise is the kind of person that gets embarrassed at sex scenes or at condom commercials because a blushing Haise is adorable. And, well, we all have an idea of what Big Madam did to Juuzou on chapter 122. My headcanon is that it was just a plain castration, meaning his dick stayed intact (well, as intact as it could have). If you don’t like the idea, just ignore it as it doesn’t have too much to do with the story, after all.  
> As always, tell me if there are any mistakes.  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


	3. Rei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself

The next morning, Haise woke up to a loud thud. He got up and looked around, confused, until he remembered it wasn’t his apartment but Juuzou’s. He glanced toward the other side of the bed yet it was empty. He was going to get up to try and find the other when he felt a hand coming from under the bed grabbing him firmly. A shriek of pure horror filled the room as the hand pulled. When he saw another arm emerging and gripping the light blue sheets, he backed as far away as he could, pressing his back against the headboard, his mind being plagued with images of last night’s film. But his look of fear changed to one of embarrassment when he heard a voice talking.

“If you fucking throw me off again, I’ll fucking kill you” Oh… Oh! So that’s what happened? Haise looked away, mortified. That pissed off glare was slowly consuming his soul.

“I’m sorry” He heard a sigh and some footsteps.

“It’s okay. You really move a lot when you sleep. Was it a nightmare or something?” When he dared to look at him again, he felt a rush of heat. He wasn’t expecting to see the boy taking off his underwear, giving Haise a view of his ass. Oh, how he wished to grab it and squeeze it and fuck it so hard… Wait, he had been asked something right?

“Uh, I don’t think so. I use to… scream a little, when I have them” He grabbed fresh clothes, putting them on before Sasaki had the chance to keep daydreaming.

“What? You sure have a fucked up head, then. Normal people don’t scram when they have a bad dream” He turned around, just some shorts on. Haise laughed nervously.

“I… I guess I do…” He scratched the back of his head, trying to stop his thoughts. After that blowjob, he couldn’t stop thinking about throwing the boy on the bed and fucking him senselessly.

“Haise, what’s wrong?”

“Eh? Ah, nothing!” He really wanted the other to finish dressing up and get out of the room because his pants were starting to feel too small on certain area.

“Are you sure it’s nothing?” Oh, no… That voice… He used to drop his voice an octave whenever he wanted to tease him.

“Y…Yes…” He blushed when he saw an eyebrow arch slightly, questioning him silently “No…”

“I see…” Juuzou slowly approached the man on his bed, swaying his hips like he was taught to do “Do you want me to take care of it again?” A hand directed to his crotch, causing Haise to jump a little.

“No, you… You don’t have to do that…” He gulped, remembering how wet and hot his mouth was around his dick.

“I can do something else, then…” He felt a pair of lips ghosting over his. At this rate, he was going to lose it.

“W…What can you do?” His situation was slowly becoming painful as the small hand kept stroking him through his clothes.

“I can let you use my shower” Just like that, his hand and lips were gone, his voice back to normal.

“What?”

“You heard me. A cold shower will help you” He stood up, turning around. He tried walking away but was stopped by a hand on his wrist. He looked back at Haise, expecting to see pleading eyes, but he was wrong.

“Okay” He just got up, giving him a chaste kiss and getting out of the room.

“Did he just…?” He was confused. How did he ignore all the teasing and just agree with a shower? From what he experienced last night, Haise wasn’t really good at keeping his cool.

He quickly shrugged it off, though, grabbing a short sleeved shirt from the closet.

\-----------

“Haise, do you want me to wash your clothes or anything?” He screamed, hoping to be loud enough for the other man to hear him over the sound of the water. “I can let you something mine meanwhile”

“Oh, sure! If it’s not a bother”

“Don’t worry! I’m coming in, okay?” But before the other investigator had a chance to answer, he opened the door as quietly as he could, catching a glimpse of the man’s actions. Back against the wall, hips moving against his hand.

“G...Give me a minute!” Unaware of the hungry stare, he bit on his other hand, trying to stifle any sounds that managed to get out.   
“If a minute is enough for you to come, you will have to work on your… skills… a little more” Haise’s eyes snapped open. The boy was turned, grabbing the clothes discarded over the sink, eyes fixed on his through the mirror.

Before he could reply, he was gone.

\------------------

It was two months later, when the two of them were on a library, Haise with a book in his hands, and Juuzou with a bored look on his face.

“I think I’m going to die if I don’t do anything fun”

“Oh, shut up. You promised you would come with me!”

“But I didn’t know book signings were so laaaaaaame”

“Come on, I’ll make it up to you later, okay?”

“It depends on what you do~” A hand sneaked around the boy’s waist, pulling him against the other investigator.

“Whatever you want” Haise tried kissing him softly, but, as always, Juuzou tried to deepen the kiss, ignoring the fact that they were surrounded by people, including children. He pulled back immediately, a scolding look on his face.

“You said whatever I wanted” The ravenette pouted.

“I know, just… Not here. Too many people are watching”

“Then, we can go somewhere else~” Suzuya grabbed his hand, pulling him away from the queue.

“Wait! Juuzou!” Without listening, the aforementioned pulled him all the way to the bathroom. “The last time Takatsuki was signing books was a year ago! I don’t want to miss the opportunity to meet her!” He watched as the other looked around and, after making sure they were alone, grabbed him and pulled him inside of a stall. He immediately kissed him. Hard.

“You talk too much” He pressed his hips against Haise’s, trying to coax him.

“We can’t do this in a bathroom…” The two toned complained between kisses, hands on the boy’s hips, weakly trying to stop him.

“Why not~?” Suzuya’s lips went to his neck, devouring the exposed skin.

“Someone can hear…”

“That’s where the fun is~” Small hands sliding under his shirt, stroking up and down his torso.

“Juuzou, rea… ah… really…” He moaned when he felt those same hands playing with his nipples. “Stop it. We… we can keep going later…”

“Promise?” He paused his movements.

“Promise”

“Okaaaay” The boy got out of the small stall, half sitting on the row of sinks “What are you gonna do with that?” He pointed to the tent on his lover’s pants.

“Eh… I guess I’ll try to cool myself a little. You can go out and stay at the queue if you want” 

“I’m gonna start thinking you just want me for that” He started walking out of the restroom “If you can’t get rid of it, send me a message” He winked and got out, leaving poor Haise alone, trying to think about non arousing things.

He smiled. He had a lot of control on his own body while Sasaki had practically none. He would always get flustered easily. His breathing would become irregular in a matter of seconds and he would get excited with a mere touch. Well who wouldn’t with Juuzou’s deft hands.

He was skillful. Really skillful. But he would give everything to be just as inexperienced as Haise was.

As well as all of his other abilities, his precise movements came from practice. A practice he wished never existed.

When he was younger, Big Madam would dress him as a girl and sell time with him to other ghouls. Of course, that time meant sex. Before he was a scrapper, he was used as a prostitute. A mere whore. And he hated every second of it. He couldn’t think of all the time he used to spend in the shower when he was rescued, trying to wash away all those years of robbed innocence. He used to hate his body at that time. All the marks, the scars, were a reminder of what happened. But now Haise said he loved his body. Well… the part that he was allowed to see, because he never let him anywhere near to the area between his hips.

Yes, they kissed. Yes, they touched. Yes, they did a lot of other things. But they never went all the way. He was still a little ashamed yet he knew he had no reason to. His lover would never judge him. He'd already made that clear, always kissing his scars, but never asking how he got them.

It was nice, having someone you can trust. Someone you can be vulnerable around. Someone who keeps saying 'I love you'.   
Juuzou never said those words back. He wasn't sure if he loved Haise. He wasn't sure if he knew what love was really about. For him, it was an unfamiliar emotion. He knew about sadness, about happiness, about anger... But love... Love was so strange. It was a mix of all of them, but at the same time, it was completely different.

He looked down at his blue Converse. He did love someone. Not in the way he was supposed to love a friend or a lover, but in the way a son loved his father. But it didn't matter. Not anymore. He wasn't there. He was in a coma, waiting for death to come and finish the job.

He was so distracted in his thoughts, that he didn't notice Haise until he felt him kiss the top of his head.

"What were you thinking about?" He always looked so happy. Not like someone who didn't remember the first twenty years of his life.

"Nothing important"

"Okay"

\---------------

“Haise!” He heard the muffled voice coming from the boy’s bedroom.

“Yeah?”

“Come here, please!” Sasaki put the bowl with the baking mix on the counter. He wanted to make a cake for his boyfriend because he remembered the way his eyes shone when he brought him those pastries the other day.

“Juuzou, what’s…?” He felt his words leave him when he opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the pink, frilly lingerie.

“You said you would do whatever I wanted, right?” Haise just nodded because he knew he would make some weird noise if he opened his mouth “Well, now you have an idea of what I want” The boy was on the bed, sitting on his knees with his legs slightly parted. Hands resting on the sheets, between his thighs “Haise?”

“Eh? Ah, yeah. I… I think I know what you mean…”He scratched the back of his neck as he felt a wave of heat rush to his crotch. His clothes were suddenly too much for him.

“Then… What’s the matter?”

“Nothing! It’s just… You look really good in those”

“Do I~?” He crawled out of bed, slowly making his way towards the other man.

“Y…Yeah…”

“You know how would I look better?” Suzuya stood on his tippy toes whispering on Haise’s ear “With this off” It was a bad line. A really bad line. But it was enough to make the taller blush.

“Do…Do you mean…?” He wasn’t sure if Juuzou was implying what he thought he was implying.

“Yeah…” The black haired boy nibbled and sucked on his earlobe. Haise wrapped his hands around the small waist.

“Are you…?” The boy kissed him.

“Yes” That was all the confirmation Sasaki needed.

He grabbed Suzuya’s neck and smashed his lips against the other’s, not caring about the pink lipstick. He pulled him up, feeling short legs wrapping around his waist. He dropped the boy when they reached the bed and took off his shirt. The ravenette bit his lower lip. He moved to lay on top of him, sneaking his hands under the babydoll*. He heard a sweet moan escaping the boy’s lips when he started playing with his nipples, massaging them to a hard point. “Haise… go lower…”

“Are you sure?”

“Stop asking if I’m fucking sure! I am, okay? So shut up already!”

“O…Okay” He hooked a finger under the panties but was suddenly stopped.

“Wait a second…” _I knew it_. Haise thought. He withdrew his hand, not wanting to make the other uncomfortable.

“Didn’t you say you were sure?”

“Oh, shut up. It’s not that” He sat up “It's that… That… Look, you may think the reason I didn’t want to do this before is that I didn’t want to get THAT intimate with you but… I wanted. And I couldn’t”

“Why not?”

“Because… down there… I’m…I’m not the same as you…” He played with his fingers.

“Juuzou, what do you mean?”

“When I was younger… I was kidnapped, by ghouls. And the… The ghoul who used to own me… She… Did something tome…” Haise listened to every word, noticing the way the boy was hesitating. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to”

“I know. But I really want to” Sasaki nodded, letting him keep talking “She… What she did…” Juuzou sighed “When I was little, I used to look a lot like a girl. Long hair and everything. So Ma… The ghoul… Did something to me so I would always look like that” 

“Do you mean she…?”

“Yeah”

“Juuzou, that’s horrible! Why would someone do that to a little kid?!”

“Because she sold me. Like… Like a whore…” Haise’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe there were people that evil out there. He thought about the boy’s skill and mentally cringed when he realized the cause of it “At that time, she would give me everything I wanted in exchange of all the money I made her win. But I grew tired of being used that way. So, a day, I cut my hair. And that’s when she forced me to work as a scrapper. I went from sleeping in a huge room at a mansion, to living in a cold cell in a basement. She also changed my name. The real one was Rei. Juuzou is just the nickname I was given as a killer”

“Why did you keep it, then?”

“Because, even working for the CCG, it’s what I still am. No matter if it’s humans or ghouls, I’m still a murderer”

“You’re not!”

“Why? If a human kills a ghoul, they’re a hero. If a ghoul kills a human, they’re a monster. Tell me why am I different to them”

“Because… because… I don’t know…”

“That’s what I thought”

“But… Even if you say so… can Icall you Rei?”

“What? Why?”

"Because you're not a monster. You're way more human than a lot of people out there. So, if you say Juuzou is the name of a killer, I want to call you by your real one"

"Haise..." He whispered and smiled, amazed at the other's honesty "Okay" It was fine if it was his lover who said that name.The other wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. Suzuya chuckled when he remembered the clothes he was wearing "You know, I really wanted to go all the way, but I think I killed the mood with all the drama" Sasaki laughed too.

"Don't worry. We can keep going whenever you want"

"Okay"

"I love you... Rei" Juuzou closed his eyes when he felt his lover tightening the embrace.

"I know"

Haise decided it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did I just doooooooo?!?! I wanted to write smut! Why did I end up writing dramaaaaaaaa?!?! And romanceeeeee?!?! This chapter was supposed to be dirtyyyyyy!!!! I'm hopeless. 
> 
> Well, I can't complain. This will have a plot, after all. It will be cute fluff while I follow the manga's storyline. Yeah, you heard that right. And that means Black Reaper Kaneki will make an appearance. And then, shit will go down. Ohhhh~ I can't waaait~
> 
> Also as you may have noticed, I love Juuzou with lingerie. With dresses and skirts, too. That’s why I died on the Auction Arc. 
> 
> *If you don’t know what a babydoll is, just look it up on google (I think you can also call it nightie, am I wrong?)
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated. See you next chapter!


End file.
